I interned at a place w butterflies and had to tell a mom to please stop offering the “snacks” on the pedestals to her kids and we had to give a speech to all the ppl who entered which I added lines to daily. Including the infamous “butterflies like fruit that’s a little older than what we eat, so the fruit is just for them! Please don’t eat it!” And “please please please please please don’t come in here if you’re afraid of butterflies.” It was the closest thing to hell I’ve ever experienced
*going to a butterfly farm* there better not be any fuckin butterflies in here
there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN
minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn’t have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son
(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn’t he handsome
Americans be like: My grandpa 😠😠😠 served in the Korean War 😠😠😠 and killed 9 people 😠😠😠 to fund his college degree in clownery 😠😠😠 Respect him or leave the country 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬
That’s a super light story huh? My great grandfather got killed in action from a land mine to protect this country. If you don’t wanna respect the history or stand for a national anthem😁then leave to your peaceful home and fuck right off
How did your great grandpa stepping on a landmine protect this country
i learned that there’s a Japanese beetle that when eaten by a frog will haul ass through its digestive system and escape out the back end unscathed (x)
you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact
Withdrawing from school was probably one of the best individual decisions i’ve ever made in my life, for reasons too numerous to list here, but I have obtained vital wisdom that I will share here:
Log off and talk to old people
Your brain is being microwaved by exposure to almost exclusively under-30s who don’t get outside very much. There’s nothing inherently wrong with being young or indoors, but it’s really starting to click for me that your 20’s are a garbage fire, and no one in their 20’s knows shit (including me). We are all just so unfinished and terrified and confused.
You need role models that are older than you. If your role models are all your age you’re admiring a lot of people that have fewer challenges than you, and not very many people that used to be like you and bloomed.
It won’t click for you until you make friends with “boomers” who are the most blisteringly self-actualized people you’ve ever seen, actively involved in their communities, cool and thoughtful and full of stories, and 80% of the things that seem important to you burn away. You Will Be Okay.
Let me tell you a secret: The bigger part of the fight for good in this wretched world is invisible to the internet, rippling past without surfacing on Twitter or Instagram.
I’m organizing right now to launch a “re-wilding” project around my hometown, and joining forces with a lady who runs a native plant giveaway sort of thing, and she [coolest person ever] [gives off the powerful aura of a level 999 human] doesn’t have a cell phone let alone the internet
I’m here to tell you that there are a billion awesome things in your community for you to join with, and it seems to you like they don’t exist, simply because the people that run them don’t know how to social media
f.f.f. (farmer family friend) is the president of the farmers market in his hometown and they have a facebook page and that’s basically it and i’m like, there are so many farmers markets that 20somethings don’t know about, aren’t there…
But if you talk to a person like this and say “hey i wanna grow native trees/start a community garden/grow a food forest” chances are you will get pelted with connections to 75 other people who are exactly who you need to talk to
There’s a guy who just started where I work who is interested in urban and suburban food forests, and because of my brother’s volunteer work, I happen to know that a local food bank is about to buy land to start farming on, and I tell him “Here, here’s this guy’s number, talk to him he’ll be SUPER excited to hear what you have to say” and then I think to myself “Networking? Is this networking? EEEEE!”
And listen…
you, a Young Person, may be ALSO just as vital to these not-as-internet-adept folks who are doing good work, because YOU can get THEM connected to all the folks on the internets and link them to resources THEY can’t access
Fun fact! Having a job every day is actually a fairly new thing.
In olden times, people had daily chores and other things to do but their workload/ daily working hours was actually much lower than it is today. Even in farming communities.
The concept of working super hard every day actually comes from capitalism, which in turn comes from Puritanical ideology.
The Puritans believed in salvation through work and in no play.
Early capitalists adopted this ideology because it meant higher productivity and therefore more money if their factories were running near constantly.
The idea of needing to be continuously productive in order to be useful/ allowed things like food and shelter, is actually quite an insidious ideal that is deeply rooted in the American culture.
4 day work weeks have actually proven to be more productive than the 5 day week. But corporations won’t adopt it willingly because it means less of a stranglehold on their workers.
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